This was a draft post that I came across today from back in June, 2014 prior to our move to AL....still makes me laugh!
I started my day with an inspirational facebook post of a soldier who asked his wife to send him grass seed and soil so he could grow grass with American soil while being deployed. He and the other soldiers would step on it as good luck when they went into the field. Knowing I needed to mow the lawn again, in Ken's absence, I took this wonderful story as a sign I should just go ahead and get the lawn mowed today. Piece of cake - I'd done it before. I had this!
I got the riding mower out, had my lemonade in the cup holder, and vroom - started that puppy right up, while singing "Green Acres"! We have a somewhat hilly yard, and the side yard is kind of a trick. I had managed to combat the hill last time, and proceeded as before. I went straight down on my first lap, but got stuck. No matter how sunny it has been, the stupid grass up here in WA is always wet! The back right wheel was spinning and making absolutely no contact with this lovely American soil! Well, I thought, I could add some weight to my seat upon this awesome orange Husqvarna and proceeded to place a bag of grout and 20 lb pound of dog food on the seat with me! Great - except that the dog food bag slipped and hit my foot, which accelerated the mower forward so it was teetering off the 1 foot high rock wall. Shit! I got off and pushed and pushed to no avail. Not sure why I thought I could move this thing, but gave it the old college try anyway. While standing at the end of the driveway and pondering my slight problem, I decided I would use my Expedition to gently nudge the mower back off its unfortunate perch on the rock wall. After all, I had a back-up camera so I could see perfectly where I was and then I could put that mower back in its place. But wait, that wasn't such a great idea. I remembered that not too long ago I had to have the back-up camera sensor replaced because Ken, WHILE looking at the backup camera, backed into a pole! That's a whole other story, but knowing how freaking expensive a backup camera sensor is, I decided to go at it from the front. Gently. Gently I inched my way to the mower and Expedition and Husqvarna sweetly kissed, and I got the mower back off the rock wall. Whew! Yay for me! Nope - because the tire had come off the rim of the mower. Husqvarna - 1 Marliss - 0. I called Ken, who just laughs as he tells me I'm screwed and he'd just have to fix in on Sunday when he gets here. Well, that does not work for a stubborn redhead. By God, I was going to mow the freaking lawn because there's a soldier somewhere who would LOVE to mow a lawn!
Hmmmm, who to call.....I know, Les Schwab tires! They seem like lovely people from their TV commercials and they are always saving the day! Exactly what was it I was going to ask for when they answered. So, I just started in with my story - complete with the motivating factor of a soldier and his American soil. After the person on the other end stopped laughing, she said she could have someone make a service call to get the tire. Awesome! Maybe I could be in one of their commercials! A couple hours pass and the Les Schwab truck comes up my driveway. As Sara, the insanely strong tire chick gets out of her truck, I could tell by the look on her face that she kinda wanted to just jump back in and drive away. Well, I figured I would just go ahead and tell her my story and let her laugh at me too! I'm not sure what Sara had for breakfast, but she lifted the mower up and put blocks under it so the tire could be removed. Off she went with the tire to the shop where she would work her magic on ol' orange Husqy's misshapen tire. Shortly, Sara the tire chick returned with the tire. This time it was round. The Wheaties kicked in and in a matter of minutes the wheel was on and Sara was kindly using her brute force to push me on the mower and unstick me from the pickle I was in. Yay for me! Husqvarna - 1, Marliss - 1! Nope - the blade was not engaging, and making that ridiculous racket of a blade rotating viciously enough to chop off a human limb. Damnit. Husqvarna - 2, Marliss - 1! I just wanted to mow the lawn and be appreciative of the opportunity that a soldier was missing. The picture in the motivational story showed him using scissors to trim his "lawn". I had scissors and I was about to use them.
While waiting for Sara, the insanely strong tire chick, I began consolidating crap in the garage in preparation for movers on Monday. Spiders. Spider webs. Only 2 decomposing, petrified mice, and a crap ton of holiday decorations that hadn't been out of their boxes for a month of Sundays. I was already dirty, so figured laying down in the grass and trying to look under the mower wasn't going to kill me. Hmmm, it appears that there belt was off its round thingyamajigs. All 5 of the round thingyamajibs. Okay fine. I'll just follow the little drawing, which luckily hadn't been drawn by the people who draw IKEA directions, so I should be able to put the belt on the appropriate thingyamajigs. Nope. My weenie arm muscles weren't engaging and therefore, neither would the mower belt. So, off I went to the neighbor's house. Now, our neighbor is a great guy - just think Frozen's Olaf in human form. As we are walking to the house, I am telling him my story, which has him doubling over in laughter. By now, it is getting dusk and with what little light was left, we managed to get the belt situated so blade would do its job. Not only did I get the lawn mowed, but I did it under the moonlight, which is a rare sight in the PNW. Stubbornness can be a good thing.
